Tuesday, June 10, 2014

短篇

好久没有打字啦...
ermmm...正确来说..
是打我部落格的字... XD
最近都在考试期间...
但其实一直都在慌神..
并没有真的很乖的坐在了桌子前面读书..
人常说...等长大了....
小时候的童话梦就会醒了..
或许吧..
对于我现在这种应该非常向往恋爱的年龄..
我竟然..
并没有像其他人一样期待着...
甚至我开始有那么一些不相信爱情..
可能是环境影响吧..
从我懂事以来..我看我的父母吵架..
还多过看见爱情的美好...
p.s :奉劝各位想当父母的人..一定要谨记..不要在小朋友面前吵架...
我见过双方不理不睬..
我听过双方就在房里面大声吵架的情况..
我总是装作一副无所谓的样子..
只是因为我不想...理...
真的不想...
其实从我第一次看见他们吵架的时候..
我就时常在想...
"我的父母会离婚吗?”
因为那种吵架的氛围实在是恐怖到我实在没有办法想象..该如何和好..
随着年龄越大..
父母更像回到了童年一样..
开始像小朋友一样的冷战...
除了父母是一个很大的因素之外...
还有我姐姐...
其实如果认真来说..
现在似乎只有我哥哥没有带给我所谓的"爱情阴影"吧...
我姐姐..
曾经在我中学的时候..大概中二的时候..
满脸泪痕的站在我面前..
问我.."心痛可以有多痛?“
直到我今年..我甚至还可以看到我姐姐在我面前因为爱情而哭..
这就是...爱情...的美好吗?
我另外一个姐姐..
我见证过她为上一段爱情的憔悴..
我也听过她和现在的男朋友在我隔壁的房间..
大吵一顿...
甚至冲门而出的情景...
这就是...我对他们的爱情印象..
我不是没有看见过爱情的美好..
朋友们因为爱情变漂亮了...
网络上所流传的一些令人感动的影片..
但说真的..
那些真美好的片段..
我一会儿就忘记了..
反而是那些所谓的"美好"却一直在我的脑袋里历历在目..
或许我自己在等吧..
等一个可以让我相信爱情的人?事?物?
或许吧..
也或许..没有或许..

Monday, February 10, 2014

长大

随着时间慢慢地长大..
很多你该知道的..你不应该的事情..
都会慢慢被你一一晓得...
以前小时候总是觉得我的大家庭很快乐..很和谐..
大了才知道原来那是一个多么大的误会..
兄弟姐妹之间为了钱财而吵架..
有些还甚至变得不再往来..
虽然我对有些亲戚没什么好感..
*因为小时候总被他们取消..
但我还是不希望到不再往来的地步..
其实长大还有一件很残忍的事情..
就是你会开始意识到..
父母也老了..
身体不再健康了...
嗯...最近还蛮常体会到这个的..
我开始觉得庆幸...
当初自己选择不去外国留学..
不管我当初是为了什么不到外国留学...
可能我还有那么一丝相信...
外国月亮没有比较圆吧..
不然..现在这笔费用该对我的家庭有多大的影响?
但我又后悔...
后悔当初没有坚持要去本地大学...
不然现在的教育费用又替家里省了多少?
又或者坚持收下ptptn的offer...
不过算了啦..我只能说..
得用功读书了...
其实放眼看去...自古子承父业..
但现在来说..这是个传统..但不是个一定..
变相的..
现在的农业,渔业&菜业...
都变得老化了..
只因年轻人不再愿意接手..
但其实让自己想想?
我又愿意吗?
我愿意放弃自己读大学的机会..
去帮忙吗?
还真的是个很难选择的事..
只能说..人越是长大..越多的责任得承担..

Monday, January 27, 2014

make feel like wanna bloggggg

wake up in the early morning...
went to school for my summer unit course..
now...i'm staying in the biggggg classroom alone..
HEHE..i'm enjoy for that recently..
went through nicholas' s blog..
and it make me feel like wanna start post something on my "long-time-no-update-blogsites-"..
so...what to say?
ermmm..i'm going to present a presentation about "sustainability" later..
and..today is my last day for school!
then i could have my fully one month empty break..
which supposedly be 3 months..
hahaha..it's okay..
vf my 2 months part time study.
i managed to get rid of one elective unit..
not bad,huh?
ermm...yea..about my face...
it's finally in recovering process..
HOW HAPPY! :)
but going to back to hometown soon..
then there will b a lot of ques like..
"why ur face like that?"
"aiyah...ur face very teruk leh..“
well...i hope i can prepare my mentally well to overcome this..
p.s: i'm used to be the "shoot-target" in my hometown since small..
ques like..
"why u still drinking milk with milk bottle?"
"why u so fat one?"
"how u eat until so big size?"
yea...sometimes i think back...
i'm definitely STRONG enough..hahaha..
although i remembered there is one time..
i hide inside my room and cried..
my sis used to be pretty and slim..
and the other way in me..
well..i will think that's.....unique!
i'm born to be unique..hahahaha...
hope my face getting more and MORE better before 31/1..
talking about my school life!
ermm..i'm getting more and more used to it..
i guess..
but for my summer unit..
i...usually came school around 7 something...
went back like 3 something..
depend on my classes schedule..
it's good!at least i can go back home at 3 something..
it's definitely different case with sem 1..
which i came school at 7 something..
and went back at 7 something too..
hahaha..12 hours spent in school!
not that i love school that much..
oo..not to forgot..
show some pic of my recent life,right?
ermmm..wait..
let me check them out!

w
a
i
t
i
n
g
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.





so..this is the pic of my group members in MORAL STUDIES..we're taking pic happily after we done our task!
dun ask me is it gt any of them i liked..they all are 3rd year seniors which i'm not able to approach..hahaha




so..this is the pic that i curi-curi took at the back of my parents while they're looking at the backview of my new house!



so..this is me!!!try to take some silly pic recently..mayb this is a sign that i'm approaching the level of become crazy?! T_T



so...this is my friends that i knew in my uni..that can count close to me..but not THAT close..u noe~i need take a very long time to consider as close..



so..this is the pic of us! sibling time~we always try to take pic without my 2nd sis..hahahaha...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

新的一年

新年快乐!
昨晚来不及回顾我的2013年..
现在赶快来补发!!!
2013年.....
我似乎经历了好多事情...
嗯...首先...
我终于告别了穿校服的校园生活..
我现在已经是一位可以穿着短裙...不绑头发去学校的大学生...
这算是...踏上人生的另一个阶段吧?
其实现在在大学跟不同的人多了..
我都有一些忘了华语...
很多词语已经不懂怎么用了..哈哈...
去年..我从一字头正式踏入2字头..
这代表....我该长大了?
可是随着所谓的长大...
我的青春痘也开始.....长大了..
它们好像搞错时间酱..
我之前form 1-5都没有酱严重..
现在却一次过出完了...
虽然说不是那种特严重的..
可是有些已经消下去了的痘痘..
还有些痘印在那里...
我不是那种特别在意脸的人..
可是最近我妈妈总是说我的脸每天每天都在变严重..
p.s:我并不觉得啦..
每天每天都在说...
其实indirectly...弄到我真的很不想见人...
现在只要别人说话看着我的脸..
我就会很想...很想把脸遮住...
我也不想出门..因为我总觉得别人总在看我的脸..
其实我真的很压力...
妈妈最近还讲要带我去看医生...
aiks~
嗯..2013年...
我第一次当上了老师...
我永远都不会忘记那些小朋友纯真的模样...
也很谢谢他们给我带来的笑容...
嗯..2013年..
我拿到了我的STPM成绩..
竟然出乎意料的...好..
这让我也很谢谢我自己..
为了自己的那份努力...
2013年..
和很多朋友都分开了..
当然的..也认识了很多新朋友...
旧朋友对我固然重要..
我也很庆幸有一些朋友到现在依然还很常联络...
当然..也有一部分是已经没有办法回到从前一样的...
我很祝福他们...
但请原谅我..没有办法假装我们还是和以前一样...
新朋友也一样对我重要..
可是人啊..毕竟还是需要时间去了解的...
现在为止..我并没有办法很了解我的新朋友们...
总而言之...
在过去的一年里..
谢谢所有的朋友的包容...
新的一年里..
继续加油!!!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

to 某某

"happy birthday"..
seem like is the most difficult sentence for me today..
i was thinking for the whole day...
i wanna wish that person happy birthday..
but i promised myself will not disturb that person's life ever again..
i wish i could just wish that person like a usual friend..
but i do understand from that day..
our relationship had became different..
it's not like b4 anymore..
that's why i'm nt really in situation today..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!WISHING U ALL THE BEST~

Friday, October 4, 2013

再一次的逃跑



27/9是我第一次踏进UPM的那一天..
我重来没有想过..
我第一次..就得在UPM逃亡..
本来只是想说..去看看kar hee..
结果?
遇到了...我这一辈子都没有想过我们会再遇到的一个人..
可能我们的缘分真的很深吧...
其实kar hee说..
就算她在那里读...也是很少遇见他..
谁知道?
我一去那里就遇到了...
可笑的是...
我竟然逃跑了...
就像一个小孩子做错事一样..
看到就跑..
他应该也是看到我的..
我可以感觉得到..
那种...被寻找的感觉...
其实曾经有人说过...
她觉得我跟他的缘分不会就此就停止...
只是...我一直以来都不相信..
直到...
大学放榜..
我最好的朋友...和他都进了同一间学校..
我发现...似乎真的有些断不完...
缘分好像跟我开玩笑一样..
说是很难遇见...
偏偏我一去就遇见了...
可能我比较好欺负?
好怪..
我....
逃跑了..

Monday, September 23, 2013

harloha~


it's been a long time i didn't updated my blog!!
ermm..actually it mostly bcoz of i'm busying to adapt my new uni life..
and..of coz..i'm too lazy to update..hehe..
well...i'm now officially(actually quite late to do so) announce that...
I'M A UNI STUDENT!
hahaha....how proud should i?
well...with my uni student identity..
i still carry with my children face..
that's what my friends told me..
actually i'm not the youngest one in my friends group..
but..yea~i do look like the youngest one.. =='
ermm..what else to say?
i'm currently still nt really used to uni life...
especially when there's a big gap between my lecture...
but...anyway..my 1st sem is going to end soon..
so...i think it might be a good sign that showing actually i'm adapting it well..
btw..i do very very very emo during the day which all my friends were going to different states to continue study..
i look...extremely emo in school...
i knew it!
it just too sad to seperate with ur friends that...
some of them are already knew for 14 years?
or some of them are fight together vf u for one of the toughest exam in the world,STPM..
some of them are actually got the uni that very near to my school..
like..UM,UPM...
but yet..the time still always crash vf my time..
so i cannot really go and find them..
althought i drive school everyday..
ermm..my school is...FINE!
much more better than i expect..
i start to love tis school..
because it has some nice views..
as u guys noe..i do very enjoy lookin at the natural views...
so...i think tis is the only point i love tis school?
hahaha...yea..just for information to those do not noe which school i studying..
now i'm currently studying at monash university..
which is located at sunway...
the sunway uni just like..opposite of my school..
with the walking like...5-10 minutes..
yea..not to forgot mention...
our school lecturer are very nice..
i can't say all..bcoz i haven't meet all..
but so far the lecturer i had met...
they are all very nice and qualified..
(p.s: to become a lecturer in monash...u need to have ur phD)
so....our school do have a lotttttttt of doctor...
no matter is medicine doctor or the professional doctor..
sound cool?hahaha..
what else...ermmmm..abt my school...
my school's cafe food is....ehemmmmmm..
u all should know if i didn't type out a lot of compliment of that..
ya..not to forget..
my school library..
it was nice...
like..a neat library with quite a number of computers..
but it always not enough to let students use..
monash is just too many students...
especially international students..
while...the lecturers are mostly local...(i'm not looking down for local people..just mostly private uni also have many international lecturers)
and...the wifi in school is just getting worst and worst from day to day..
i dunno why..i hoping it going to fix soon..
anyway...
today...actually...i'm nt feeling down..
but...some memories just flashing in my brain..
like..uncontrollable..
mayb bcoz one of my friend talked abt a love story vf me today..
that's a story that about two guys falling in love to the same girl...
yea..i think it sound similar..
which...remind me my form 6 life..(have to declare..i'm nt trying to show off)
some people might think i very easy to let go that "stuff"
but..actually i put a lot a lot a lot of effort just to make me feel better..
and make them feel better..
i used many energies just to THINK..how to stay far away from them in school..
how can i make the relationship better?
without hurting their friendship..
yet...things turn out slightly different than what i think..
i have a good ending and a...not good ending?
i now still very friend to one of the guy..
but the other one..
i should say...i cannot understand?
is like..
the ppl who said wan bcome back friend is him..
the ppl who said wan add me back is fb is him..
but when i start to concern him as a friend..
he just trying to push me away..
i dunno is it i too sensitive or what..
but everytime i find him chat...
just to concern abt him for uni stuff..
he just will disappear..and the other day..
i will see a "facebook user" in my chat list..
which means..he deactivate his fb..
that's a very short period for him to deactivate..
but..yea..i'm nt stupid..
i can see it..
and in fact..
after he added me back in fb..
i have never ever see he put on9..
it..sound...strange..right?
it turn out an ending that both of us also dun wan..(i trust that)
but...i think it just better we cut off every contact..
just to let him or me feel better..
so...i unfriend him in fb..
before i did that decision..
i was very struggling..
i kept starring at my phone..
the unfriend button just keep show up and close..show up and close..
until one day that...
i狠下心....one shot..just click it..
then only my heart feel better..
and much more comfortable..
i believe that he felt the same way too..
bcoz after i unfriend..
his fb do look different..
he change his profile pic..which before tht..he do not put any profile pic..
and his fb started to have many groups pic..etc etc..
i started to feel like...
"en...i did not do wrong decision...we both also deserve a new start"
but i will feel very upset that..
i just losing a close friend like that..
well..i think in this world..
not everything will turn out as what u wish to..
so...just...
hold every chances if u wan it...
at least u try ur best..then..
regret will not exist! :)