Sunday, June 19, 2011

h3lLo


HEY!it's been a long time i din update my blog....
coz..really busy for the form 6 stuff...
revision,homeworks,prepare for next lessons..
well...i totally didn't have extra times to do others things..
*hmm.to b honest..used around 1-2 hours to watch drama oso la..XD..
well...specially at fri..
those teachers will give u a lottttt of homeworks..
and that's all nt easy as the daily exercises or what we do during form 5..
it's getting tougher and tougher..
and i used quite a lot of times to do the homeworks lo.
coz i din tuition..haha..
think abt tuition..
but juz feel like..DUN WANNA!
1st..too far oredi...
2nd..form 6 still a lot of things to do..it's juz not study at all..many activities need to do oso..
3rd..i don't wan too depend on tuition lo..coz after go university,there's no tuition too..
4th..i think i will b tired that after school still have to go so far away to tuition..
5th..i dunno where are nice??!!althought i had asked many of my classmates..most of them are same 1 la..haha
well..but i think i need it la..
especially for chemistry..
the teacher is juz S_C_!!!!
haha..cannot type it out..
who noe mayb someday some teachers or students found my blog..
and i think i will get a serious punishment!
other teachers are quite alright till now..
juz i still cannot found out that..
WHY TEACHERS ARE SO LIKE TO CALL MY NAME??!!LOLZ..
errmm..what to say again?
ya...recently feel a little bit of depressed..
one of the reason is those teachers keep telling us..
"form 6 are nt easy as ur SPM..and bla bla bla"
we noe that..we don't need the teachers to tell us again AND again..
another reason is..those friends...
who might actually seeing my blog right now...
oso feel depressed and they seem so sad!
make me feel like..errmm...sc stream is really a mission impossible?
well..i'm nt wanna say that how smart am i..
i never agree vf that..
i'm nt smart at all..
but i juz wanna to try the BEST of my life!
i don't wanna gv up so easily..
*i nt mean that who already transfered or plan to transfer from sc stream to art stream are so easily to gv up..
i juz wanna face it maturally..
and think it as a challenges...
coz i noe..there will b so many challenges in our life..
we cannot oways escape from the difficulties and juz go for the easier way..
i noe i noe...
as a zho said..
"sometimes...dream and realistic are so far apart..."
but at least u try ur best!
at least u passed through it!
i'm nt going to change my target,my ambition or even my interest..
juz onli bcoz the other ways are easier..
i noe that i might cry many times in the future times..
bcoz of the tough syllabus..
cannot score good marks on the exam...
cannot follow up what teacher's saying..
but i'm sure there are some way to do vf it oso..
*honestly..recently math t do had a small test...and i really didn't score veri well..and i failed it..but it doesn't mean what..i noe that...coz it juz a start!!nt the end!
i had a thought b4..
that what should i do if my stpm didn't score well?
how my future gonna b?
well..i think i might go works..
or juz retake stpm..
or juz study 1 or 2 years of colleges again..
that's never b a late..
A sucess life doesn't mean that u muz b a doctor,lawyer,big boss and etc then onli will b call as SUCESS!
for me,a sucess life is the life that u live vf happiness and cheerfully..
doesn't matter that u are juz a worker,salesman or etc..
anywhere..anyone have their own defination on "SUCESS LIFE"..
and i respect everyone's defination..
i respect everyone's choice!
i juz hope that after u make it..don't regret on it!
juz go for it!
coz if u gv 1s to urself to regret..
u will oways think for the regret and oways think abt the negative side..
GOOD LUCK!
there's oways a rainbow after the heavy rain..
and as ppl said..
there oways have another window after the god have close ur door...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

怀疑

有时候,真的很喜欢怀疑自己..
怀疑自己..有那么聪明吗?
有那么有人缘吗?有那么平静吗?
每次的怀疑都不会让我得到答案...
今天,某个怀疑..又再次地浮现了..
怀疑..朋友有永远的吗?
在朋友之间,是不是又存在着某种利用的关系?
或许有吧..某种利用的关系..
最近跟一位好朋友失去了联络..
有点寂寞呢..
好像少了个可以倾诉的对象..
我也不知道她现在到底怎样了..
常言道“人心难测”..
这个道理,或许越大了越能明白..
现在这个时代,先看面,后看人..
每个人一开始都是对着你笑嘻嘻...
没人能察觉出那可能藏在心底里的阴谋论...
说阴谋好像有点过分了..
或许用....不同于脸上表情的想法..比较好?
坦白的说,我个人的第六感比较敏感..
一点点的事情足够让我想很多事情..
一个普通的句子,足够让我用很多方式去演绎这段句子...
我个人心眼很小..但不容易表现出来..
但这心眼..来得快,去得也快..
曾经也怀疑过自己..
真的可以让自己不喜欢,不爽的事情都去的那么快吗?
可以?不可以?可以?不可以?
这两种答案都在我脑袋旋转了很久..
或许的看是什么事吧..
其实有时候也会觉得自己还蛮恐怖的..
我可以明明很难过的时候,
在别人面前装作没事..
我可以明明很不喜欢这样的时候,
在别人面前装作还好...
我可以明明很不爽的时候,
在别人面前装作什么事也没有..
我不会主动说些什么...
除非是一些我觉得可以说的事..
我可以明明很想要买下某些东西,
可是别人的一句话,
或者在意别人的眼光,
我就不买了..而且也不会表现出我想要..
我还可以做很多我想不到我会做的事...
人心难测,表里不一..
或许就是我这种人..
怀疑,让我出现了不安定的感觉..
让我觉得,真心的朋友有几个?
真心的话语,有几句?
现在真的有种很难解释的感觉...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

今天我的心,是下雨天



经过了两天一夜的痛苦..
它..终于去了..
是刚刚发生的事..
今天一早起来看到它还在痛苦当中..
我很心疼,
所以我采取了不听不闻不看的方式..
因为我不能让我的眼泪流出来..
刚刚终于看到它走了..
我的眼泪却冲动的想夺眶而出..
努力的控制..
发现止不住了..
走到厕所去..
用水洗洗自己的脸..
它..走了..
...................................................................
希望它一路走好..
最后一句和它说的话...
"good girl.."

Saturday, May 21, 2011

不允许的眼泪

老实说..我是一个非常非常爱哭的人..
但,我不喜欢在别人面前哭..
就算是家人也好..
我总会逼着自己不要哭..
今天,我的狗狗..要去另一个地方了...
去一个..没有痛苦的地方..
应该会是个快乐的地方..
看着它努力挣扎..想活下去..
我真的很心疼..
今天一早起身就听到它在哭..
很凄惨的哭声..
不禁让我觉得很心疼...
它努力的喘气...
努力的挣扎着..
或许是想看到我姐姐的最后一面吧..
今天我姐姐去读书了..
所以不在家..
今天我都陪在它的身边..
好久没有好好看着它了..
它现在变得好瘦好瘦..
随着年迈的岁数,它也走不动了...
其实也有一半原因是因为它经历了两次的车祸..
它其实真的很惨..
本来是一只很活泼的狗..
可是经历了两次车祸..
身体变得越来越差..然后..
骨头也被车撞断了..
所以不能走路了..
我想刚开始它一定很不习惯...
本来很喜欢走走条条的..
现在却变得不能行走...
以前它很爱漂亮...
现在却因为不能走路..
所以大便小便都得在原地进行..
弄得全身肮肮脏脏...
其实它走了也是好..
因为可以不用那么痛苦了吧?
得到解脱了吧?
今天陪在它身边..
才想起..我有多久没有好好的抚摸它了..
以前小时候,它可逗得我很开心..
陪伴过我无数的日子..
看着它..我的眼泪已经开始在眼睛打转着了..
但我自尊心不允许那些眼泪掉下来..
我强忍着..
然后觉得忍不住了的时候..
就走回房间里..
哭了一下下...
然后再走回去看它...
我从来没有那么觉得时间可以过得那么慢..
我等等等...等我姐姐回来..
因为我真的不舍得它那么痛苦..
我知道它是在等着我姐回来..
直道六点的时候..
我在楼下等着我姐..
终于我姐回来了..
我冲到门口..
告诉我姐..
“快点过来!它要走了..它在等你..”
说完后..
我的眼泪又在打转着了..
但我不能哭..我不能!
所以我马上跑回进来..
听着歌曲..稳定着我的心情..
经过了二十多分钟..
我姐眼睛哭红了进来..
我就偷偷的跑到门口..
看看它..
它不叫了..
只是一直很用力的喘气..
眼睛也关下来了..
我想它累了吧..
今天叫了一整天..
一直努力的挣开眼睛..
想看到我姐..
现在看到了..
也可以安心的休息了..
本来以为它在看到我姐后,
应该就这样走了...
可是,它没有..
它还是一直很用力的喘气..
但不同的是,它关上了它的眼睛...
我在门口一直看着它..
它的呼吸变得越来越弱...
但它还是没有放弃..
不过我想..天使来接它的时间应该要到了..
希望它下辈子可以投胎做人...
现在,当我一个人的时候..
眼泪..止不住了..
我知道这不会是伤心的眼泪..
是开心的..
因为它会去到一个更开心的地方..
没有病痛...
可是,我好希望此时此刻..
我旁边可以有个人..
让我抱抱..让我..
有个依靠......

Monday, May 16, 2011

i juz will b negative...sometimes~

well...well..well...
hmmm..should say what at the start?
hi?!hmm..not my style..haha..
hmm..form 6 is oredi pass 1 week...
and until now still feel alright...
juz the brain really rusting oredi..
oredi forgot those add math 7788..
haha...but nvm..
i can pick it up from time to time..
2day is teacher's day..
and i went to school...
for sure..i definitely not juz go bcoz 2day is study day..
i'm not good as that..
i juz go for signature..
as those seniors request..
need get the signature from form 6's teacher...
hmm..2day got a lot of signature too la.
so,won't regret for going..
and that school was quite a lot of performances can see too..
really nice..
i like the wu-shu and the band most..
haha...but 2day was veri veri veri hot..
until i really beh da han lo...zzzz....
while nothing 2 do in school 2day..
had chat vf ping ping...
haha..talk abt something abt....
study?!haha..definitely won't..
talking abt love la...future stuff..
should b honestly..i have no confident in love..
i'm negative in tis way sometimes..
said it "sometimes"..nt bcoz sometimes i do feel confident..
juz..sometimes i don't feel i want the LOVE..
but sometimes when i feel like i want it..
i will think negatively in tis way...
but..still alright..nt oways think abt it..
btw...now we oredi 18...
YEAH YEAH..A YOUNG AGE TO BE ENJOY LIFE..
haha...so we will think a lot of things..
recently saw those love line everywhere...
all the friends like fall in love oredi..
hahaha...is it a love season?
mayb...
wish they all will get the love that they want la..
haha...
sigh...recently write things oso feel like..
gt many things wanna said..dunno how to write..
who can help me?????!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

form 6

as everyone noe...
form 6 was started for few days oredi..
well..still nt used to b...
i still cannot said that..
"smk kepong is my school"..
i did miss ideal heights veri much..*honestly..
and everythings oso will b veri precious when u lost it..
when i went to smk kepong..
only i noe..
smk ideal heights was nt that bad!
but i'm talking abt the faculities and others..
nt the teachers or dicipline..
do have good teachers at smk ideal heights..
like puan tan,puan lim,puan fedya and others..
but smk kepong have more than that...
and their dicipline are nice..
juz..the classroom are small..
the toilet nt reali that clean than ideal heights..
and at least idealian look more nice..XD..
juz self opinion la..
now gt a bit feeling like..
they did look down at us..
like.."ceh..idealian.."
well...mayb juz bcoz of stll nt friends yet..
but until now..i still haven't feel comfortable vf smk kepong..
hmm..btw..2day oredi started study..
after 3 and the half days of orientation..
we finally started to study..
well..1st study sub will b MATH T..
well..is quite similar vf add math.
but since brain had rest for few months...
so still need some times to pick it up la..
recall back..
so 2day oso simply touch a little bit onli..
most of the things that teached 2day are the things that we had learnt during form 4 and 5..
so it was still ok for me for right now..
but i noe that..future still has a long way to go..
and it will b tougher and tougher..
juz b strong to face it!
hmm..what else?
ya..MUET...
an english test..
well..worried for tis so much..
since my class teacher is our MUET teacher as well..
her english was nice..
and she oso veri courage us to speak english..
do not feel afraid vf u might said wrong..
juz learn from mistakes..
so far..i think she is a nice teacher la.
but i still afraid on talking lo..honestly..
sigh~form 6...
toughest exam in malaysia?

Saturday, May 7, 2011

新一代的道德沦丧

本来今天是个很开心的夜晚..
我们庆祝了母亲节,一起吃饭,然后再去吃甜品..
但总是会有被破坏的时候..
回到家,开FB..
发现了一段又一段一样的录影...
打开来看..
看到的竟然是几个女生在欺负一个女生..
她们看起来也只是form 1,2的样子..
就已经那么坏了..
剪别人的头发,打别人的头,用领带勒着别人..
她们都好像当时家常便饭一样的普通..
一点也没有感到羞耻,和罪恶感..
我并没有说,我是多么优秀的学生..
但至少,我还懂得礼义廉耻,
懂得尊重别人,爱惜别人的身体...
因为这是我们应该有的价值观...
人与禽兽最大的差别在于..
人懂得思考,懂得体会别人的心情,懂得怎样做对自己好的选择..
但是,对于她们这样的行为..
我想大概是人的..都不能理解..
她们为什么要做这么禽兽的行为..
为了快感?为了自己的开心?为了..显示自己的权利?
我隐约记得,从很小很小的时候..
我们就好像学过了..
不要把自己的快乐,建立在别人的痛苦上..
真正的快乐是应该大家都开心地..
并不是独自的开心..
但,我相信她们也应该会得到相对的惩罚..
但我也很不明白,那女生为什么不敢反抗呢?
为什么不说出来呢?
如果不是那影片流了出去..
我想那女生大概还在自己默默地承受着欺凌..
这种行为也很不值得鼓励..
应该勇敢地说出来..
但也明白了解到..她还小..
可能怕事了吧..
但每件事都有正反两面..
因为这次的事情..
相信很多人..
像父母,老师..
都会开始关注这些问题..
很多父母都会以为说自己的孩子就是懒惰,不要上学..
但其实某些部分的孩子的害怕上学..
因为在学校里,有他们害怕的原因..
我也相信说,很多父母会开始反省自己..
现在的社会..有很多父母对自己孩子的举动都是给于不理会的态度..
也有很多父母对于自己的孩子过于溺爱..
当他们看到了孩子不应该有的举动..
很多时候都会选择睁一只眼闭一只眼..
直到事情东窗事发的时候..
才在那里埋怨,后悔..
但一切都追不回了..
现在的科技一天比一天新..
我们所能得到的知识,人生哲学,世界新闻,
在网络的世界随手可得..
非常方便..但,同时..
反面教材的东西,我们也可以非常容易的得到..
但,为什么就是有些人喜欢往灰暗,反面的方向前进呢?
道德的沦丧?父母的责任?
其实栽植前读书的时候,
也隐约感觉到说..
现在..已经一代不如一代了..
但我们所能感觉到的..只是说在读书的方面上..
这是我们深刻能体会到的..
却浑然不知..道德也从此沦丧的利害..
曾经有一位老师跟我说..
“唉...你们这一届毕业了..我们老师就头疼咯..”
有些话..其实不用说得太明白的..
大家都了了..
之前在学校的时候..
是学校最大的seniors...
怎么可能没有感觉得到..
现在的小孩..不容易管..
我们曾经也是最小的juniors...
但那时候,老师应该很谢谢我们..
因为我们真的很听话..
老师说一,就一..
二就二..
只是大了才敢反抗一点点..
我们都会适度的反抗..
哈哈..*往往都能成功...XD
明白老师心中的顾虑..
问了一句..
“真的很难管吗?”
因为我知道..其实也不是全部都是那么样的..
还是有几个乖孩子..
“对啊..唉..”
还没来得及跟老师再聊些什么..
老师又被junior们找去了..
有时候想起往事..
真的觉得我们都太乖了..
乖得有点怪..
想到未来的情况可能变得更坏..
心里不禁寒了一下..
希望..大家都能意识到道德..
是在人生里..很重要的一个配备..