Monday, January 27, 2014

make feel like wanna bloggggg

wake up in the early morning...
went to school for my summer unit course..
now...i'm staying in the biggggg classroom alone..
HEHE..i'm enjoy for that recently..
went through nicholas' s blog..
and it make me feel like wanna start post something on my "long-time-no-update-blogsites-"..
so...what to say?
ermmm..i'm going to present a presentation about "sustainability" later..
and..today is my last day for school!
then i could have my fully one month empty break..
which supposedly be 3 months..
hahaha..it's okay..
vf my 2 months part time study.
i managed to get rid of one elective unit..
not bad,huh?
ermm...yea..about my face...
it's finally in recovering process..
HOW HAPPY! :)
but going to back to hometown soon..
then there will b a lot of ques like..
"why ur face like that?"
"aiyah...ur face very teruk leh..“
well...i hope i can prepare my mentally well to overcome this..
p.s: i'm used to be the "shoot-target" in my hometown since small..
ques like..
"why u still drinking milk with milk bottle?"
"why u so fat one?"
"how u eat until so big size?"
yea...sometimes i think back...
i'm definitely STRONG enough..hahaha..
although i remembered there is one time..
i hide inside my room and cried..
my sis used to be pretty and slim..
and the other way in me..
well..i will think that's.....unique!
i'm born to be unique..hahahaha...
hope my face getting more and MORE better before 31/1..
talking about my school life!
ermm..i'm getting more and more used to it..
i guess..
but for my summer unit..
i...usually came school around 7 something...
went back like 3 something..
depend on my classes schedule..
it's good!at least i can go back home at 3 something..
it's definitely different case with sem 1..
which i came school at 7 something..
and went back at 7 something too..
hahaha..12 hours spent in school!
not that i love school that much..
oo..not to forgot..
show some pic of my recent life,right?
ermmm..wait..
let me check them out!

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so..this is the pic of my group members in MORAL STUDIES..we're taking pic happily after we done our task!
dun ask me is it gt any of them i liked..they all are 3rd year seniors which i'm not able to approach..hahaha




so..this is the pic that i curi-curi took at the back of my parents while they're looking at the backview of my new house!



so..this is me!!!try to take some silly pic recently..mayb this is a sign that i'm approaching the level of become crazy?! T_T



so...this is my friends that i knew in my uni..that can count close to me..but not THAT close..u noe~i need take a very long time to consider as close..



so..this is the pic of us! sibling time~we always try to take pic without my 2nd sis..hahahaha...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

新的一年

新年快乐!
昨晚来不及回顾我的2013年..
现在赶快来补发!!!
2013年.....
我似乎经历了好多事情...
嗯...首先...
我终于告别了穿校服的校园生活..
我现在已经是一位可以穿着短裙...不绑头发去学校的大学生...
这算是...踏上人生的另一个阶段吧?
其实现在在大学跟不同的人多了..
我都有一些忘了华语...
很多词语已经不懂怎么用了..哈哈...
去年..我从一字头正式踏入2字头..
这代表....我该长大了?
可是随着所谓的长大...
我的青春痘也开始.....长大了..
它们好像搞错时间酱..
我之前form 1-5都没有酱严重..
现在却一次过出完了...
虽然说不是那种特严重的..
可是有些已经消下去了的痘痘..
还有些痘印在那里...
我不是那种特别在意脸的人..
可是最近我妈妈总是说我的脸每天每天都在变严重..
p.s:我并不觉得啦..
每天每天都在说...
其实indirectly...弄到我真的很不想见人...
现在只要别人说话看着我的脸..
我就会很想...很想把脸遮住...
我也不想出门..因为我总觉得别人总在看我的脸..
其实我真的很压力...
妈妈最近还讲要带我去看医生...
aiks~
嗯..2013年...
我第一次当上了老师...
我永远都不会忘记那些小朋友纯真的模样...
也很谢谢他们给我带来的笑容...
嗯..2013年..
我拿到了我的STPM成绩..
竟然出乎意料的...好..
这让我也很谢谢我自己..
为了自己的那份努力...
2013年..
和很多朋友都分开了..
当然的..也认识了很多新朋友...
旧朋友对我固然重要..
我也很庆幸有一些朋友到现在依然还很常联络...
当然..也有一部分是已经没有办法回到从前一样的...
我很祝福他们...
但请原谅我..没有办法假装我们还是和以前一样...
新朋友也一样对我重要..
可是人啊..毕竟还是需要时间去了解的...
现在为止..我并没有办法很了解我的新朋友们...
总而言之...
在过去的一年里..
谢谢所有的朋友的包容...
新的一年里..
继续加油!!!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

to 某某

"happy birthday"..
seem like is the most difficult sentence for me today..
i was thinking for the whole day...
i wanna wish that person happy birthday..
but i promised myself will not disturb that person's life ever again..
i wish i could just wish that person like a usual friend..
but i do understand from that day..
our relationship had became different..
it's not like b4 anymore..
that's why i'm nt really in situation today..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!WISHING U ALL THE BEST~

Friday, October 4, 2013

再一次的逃跑



27/9是我第一次踏进UPM的那一天..
我重来没有想过..
我第一次..就得在UPM逃亡..
本来只是想说..去看看kar hee..
结果?
遇到了...我这一辈子都没有想过我们会再遇到的一个人..
可能我们的缘分真的很深吧...
其实kar hee说..
就算她在那里读...也是很少遇见他..
谁知道?
我一去那里就遇到了...
可笑的是...
我竟然逃跑了...
就像一个小孩子做错事一样..
看到就跑..
他应该也是看到我的..
我可以感觉得到..
那种...被寻找的感觉...
其实曾经有人说过...
她觉得我跟他的缘分不会就此就停止...
只是...我一直以来都不相信..
直到...
大学放榜..
我最好的朋友...和他都进了同一间学校..
我发现...似乎真的有些断不完...
缘分好像跟我开玩笑一样..
说是很难遇见...
偏偏我一去就遇见了...
可能我比较好欺负?
好怪..
我....
逃跑了..

Monday, September 23, 2013

harloha~


it's been a long time i didn't updated my blog!!
ermm..actually it mostly bcoz of i'm busying to adapt my new uni life..
and..of coz..i'm too lazy to update..hehe..
well...i'm now officially(actually quite late to do so) announce that...
I'M A UNI STUDENT!
hahaha....how proud should i?
well...with my uni student identity..
i still carry with my children face..
that's what my friends told me..
actually i'm not the youngest one in my friends group..
but..yea~i do look like the youngest one.. =='
ermm..what else to say?
i'm currently still nt really used to uni life...
especially when there's a big gap between my lecture...
but...anyway..my 1st sem is going to end soon..
so...i think it might be a good sign that showing actually i'm adapting it well..
btw..i do very very very emo during the day which all my friends were going to different states to continue study..
i look...extremely emo in school...
i knew it!
it just too sad to seperate with ur friends that...
some of them are already knew for 14 years?
or some of them are fight together vf u for one of the toughest exam in the world,STPM..
some of them are actually got the uni that very near to my school..
like..UM,UPM...
but yet..the time still always crash vf my time..
so i cannot really go and find them..
althought i drive school everyday..
ermm..my school is...FINE!
much more better than i expect..
i start to love tis school..
because it has some nice views..
as u guys noe..i do very enjoy lookin at the natural views...
so...i think tis is the only point i love tis school?
hahaha...yea..just for information to those do not noe which school i studying..
now i'm currently studying at monash university..
which is located at sunway...
the sunway uni just like..opposite of my school..
with the walking like...5-10 minutes..
yea..not to forgot mention...
our school lecturer are very nice..
i can't say all..bcoz i haven't meet all..
but so far the lecturer i had met...
they are all very nice and qualified..
(p.s: to become a lecturer in monash...u need to have ur phD)
so....our school do have a lotttttttt of doctor...
no matter is medicine doctor or the professional doctor..
sound cool?hahaha..
what else...ermmmm..abt my school...
my school's cafe food is....ehemmmmmm..
u all should know if i didn't type out a lot of compliment of that..
ya..not to forget..
my school library..
it was nice...
like..a neat library with quite a number of computers..
but it always not enough to let students use..
monash is just too many students...
especially international students..
while...the lecturers are mostly local...(i'm not looking down for local people..just mostly private uni also have many international lecturers)
and...the wifi in school is just getting worst and worst from day to day..
i dunno why..i hoping it going to fix soon..
anyway...
today...actually...i'm nt feeling down..
but...some memories just flashing in my brain..
like..uncontrollable..
mayb bcoz one of my friend talked abt a love story vf me today..
that's a story that about two guys falling in love to the same girl...
yea..i think it sound similar..
which...remind me my form 6 life..(have to declare..i'm nt trying to show off)
some people might think i very easy to let go that "stuff"
but..actually i put a lot a lot a lot of effort just to make me feel better..
and make them feel better..
i used many energies just to THINK..how to stay far away from them in school..
how can i make the relationship better?
without hurting their friendship..
yet...things turn out slightly different than what i think..
i have a good ending and a...not good ending?
i now still very friend to one of the guy..
but the other one..
i should say...i cannot understand?
is like..
the ppl who said wan bcome back friend is him..
the ppl who said wan add me back is fb is him..
but when i start to concern him as a friend..
he just trying to push me away..
i dunno is it i too sensitive or what..
but everytime i find him chat...
just to concern abt him for uni stuff..
he just will disappear..and the other day..
i will see a "facebook user" in my chat list..
which means..he deactivate his fb..
that's a very short period for him to deactivate..
but..yea..i'm nt stupid..
i can see it..
and in fact..
after he added me back in fb..
i have never ever see he put on9..
it..sound...strange..right?
it turn out an ending that both of us also dun wan..(i trust that)
but...i think it just better we cut off every contact..
just to let him or me feel better..
so...i unfriend him in fb..
before i did that decision..
i was very struggling..
i kept starring at my phone..
the unfriend button just keep show up and close..show up and close..
until one day that...
i狠下心....one shot..just click it..
then only my heart feel better..
and much more comfortable..
i believe that he felt the same way too..
bcoz after i unfriend..
his fb do look different..
he change his profile pic..which before tht..he do not put any profile pic..
and his fb started to have many groups pic..etc etc..
i started to feel like...
"en...i did not do wrong decision...we both also deserve a new start"
but i will feel very upset that..
i just losing a close friend like that..
well..i think in this world..
not everything will turn out as what u wish to..
so...just...
hold every chances if u wan it...
at least u try ur best..then..
regret will not exist! :)

Sunday, June 9, 2013

倒数着时间

日子一天一天的过...
2013也过了一半了...
其实自己没有自觉的...觉得原来时间过得那么快...
感觉好像什么都没有做到一样...
ermmm...上几个星期很emo吧...
去了interview IMU..
结果拿不到medicine..
幸好朋友多...安慰了我不少..
心里也就好过一点了..
只是...每当我家人提起..
“要做医生的.."
"那你以后有什么打算?"
"不如出国读书吧..."
我总可以感觉那么一点压力...
我真的很希望..他们不要问了..
至少不会让我觉得那么没用..
拿不到的感觉..真的不是那么好受..
感觉自己考得很差..但事实上并不是如此..
不过这次的rejection..
也让我发现到..
我并没有那么一定要medicine..
所以我退了一步..
决定放弃了...
选择了biomedical sc..
可是不知怎么得..
可能运气在大学的时候..
就用完了吧..
IMU interview失败了..
想去taylor读biomedical sc..
可是MUET又不够...
怎么办呢?
ermmmm....还有政府大学可以期待吧?
纵然期待并不高..
有时候真的觉得自己很失败..
好像要什么都不成...
但我相信...
天无绝人之路.. :P
只是我..暂时还没看到那道光在哪里...
看到朋友们一个一个都可以达成自己的梦想..
那种感觉尤其难受...
现在只是希望...taylor可能有些漏洞吧..
可能像....可以以重考muet为条件让我入学..
ohm!!!!不可让自己感觉自己很差... :)
kimmy 说..
"如果一个人觉得自己笨...那那人已经把自己限制于"笨"..而并不是真笨"
其实现实也没有想象中那么差...
我自己倒是有想过...如果什么都拿不到..
可能明年才读书吧..
只是...妈妈不喜欢..
所以再看吧?
等7月知道拿到什么了才算...
千万千万不可以灰心!
btw....随着时间飞快的过..
我似乎也应该停幼稚园的工作咯...
真的会很不舍得他们..
其实有想过不如8月才停..
如果我要读政府大学的话..
可是...
1)长痛不如短痛
2)我想让自己放个假
3)想趁还没开学前...做一些自己想做的事..
只是我答应说..如果找不到老师..
我可以回去帮忙..
其实找到幼稚园这份工..
我真的觉得挺幸运的..
今年真的是对我来说有很大起伏的一年..
很多不开心的时候..都是小朋友陪我度过的...
同时..他们也让我想起...
早已被我遗忘的简单和幸福...
人越大...就会越胡思乱想..
可能这也让幸福慢慢慢慢变得难以得到...
让它变得如此高高在上...
但从小朋友的身上..
我们却可以轻易找回...
原来幸福和快乐..
并没有抛弃我们...
只是我们选择了让它们躲在角落..
然后渐渐的遗忘了..
小朋友教会了我...
做人看开一点,脸皮厚一点..
有时候..诚实一点...
快乐就那么随手可得了..
希望他们都可以健康的成长吧..
虽然他们大了也可能忘了我...
但我一定会记得他们的..
我第一班学生..
也可能是最后一班啦..


ermm...可能近年来说..
好消息是..
我不在围着那两个男生而烦恼..
我现在烦恼的就只有..
学生学生学生...
ahahahhaha...
巧盈说..
我跟sy不会是终点..
她觉得我们以后还会见面..
但我真的觉得...
顺其自然吧...
不过...当然最好不要..
因为给过他的伤害..
似乎一辈子都会烙印在我心里..
偶尔..会有那么....
淡淡的内疚..
浅浅的怀念...
无论是谁对谁错都好..
过去是过去了...但回忆永远抹不去..
因为那是一段真心的情感...
至少..对我来说是这样..
对他...我就不知道了...
好久好久没联络了...
现在的我..不会再那么执着说..
想跟他回到从前..
纵然有时候还是会..有...那么一点点的念头..
只是...如果不再联络是为他好..
我宁愿用薄弱的意志力...
压抑着那一点点的念头..
我只愿相信...他现在一点很开心... :D
*可能也是自己想太多..并没有对他影响那么大...
至于另外一位男生...
最近来说...好像也没什么联络了...
自从我生日那一天..
他似乎也放弃了吧...
就算上网也不再找我聊天...
也不再常看到他上网了...
慢慢的...我们熟悉的习惯变得陌生了..
以前我们总是聊天...
每晚聊...聊得很夜...
现在的我们..
不再有交集...
聊天不再是我们的习惯...
我们...慢慢的戒掉了...
其实我一开始并没有发现我们在慢慢的戒掉这种所谓的“习惯"..
只是某一天...我翻翻我的手机...
信息里不再出现他的名字...
看到fb的名字才开始想说..
"对hor...我们似乎很久没有聊天了..怎么..我忘了呢?"
现在见到的只是...
他很常like我的东西...
纵然有些只是很无聊的东西...
可能现在这种距离..
对我们三个人来说都好吧...
虽然我不知道我们未来还会不会有交集...
整理好自己的思绪后...
两个男生都教会了我一些事...
一个男生教会我..."无情"
当原本对你好的感情已不在的时候...
对你的态度也只能冷冷的..
冷得我都觉得..
”这是曾经和我很好很好,很了解我的人吗?"
但是!他绝对有权利这么做..
没有人应该永远对谁好..
只是我觉得...
可以不要不清不楚的时候...
就暗暗决定用那背后对着我...
不愿听我解释了吗?
至少弄得清清楚楚..明明白白...
再决定..不是也不迟吗?
另外一个男生..教会我“善变"..
曾经说过会等到他生日的那一天..
我才给他答案..
只是...还没到那一天..
感情就已经不复存在了..
想起以前他那么实实在在的说过会等..
真的觉得...很善变...
其实我也没有问过他...
是不是感觉不一样了..
只是女生总有些第六感...
可以感觉出些什么...
但..他也是有权利这么做啦...
既然双方感情已经不是当初那样..
何必再坚持于那些幼稚的承诺...
而且那时候我开出这样的条件..
也只是要让他等到放弃罢了...
我觉得现在这样真的很好..
我的心很平静...
烦恼的只是...
学校...学生...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

不同的爱情

近期都没什么好看的戏...
所以重看回了一部戏..."步步惊心"..
我不懂你们有没有看..
但最近真的很深刻体会到..
原来不同时期看戏..会有不同的感觉..
我第一次看这套戏的时候..
就已经深深地爱上它了..
觉得真的真的很好看..
可是...第二次看..
却感受到了第一次没有感受到的东西...
先说说吧..
整套戏里..我最喜欢的人物是...十三阿哥...

当然不是因为他是我的菜..hahaha..
只是真的很欣赏....
虽为王子..但那种....潇洒不羁的性格..
对皇位不抱有任何的欲望...
认识朋友也不计较身份...
为兄弟两肋插刀...无怨无悔...
不计较人家待他不好..
只顾年兄弟情份...
虽然不懂真正的十三阿哥是否也是如此..
但我很喜欢戏里的十三阿哥...
试想想吧?
在古代那守旧的时候...王子是多么身份尊贵..
但他对下人从不摆架子...
认识的朋友也不管是否门当户对...
只管投缘与否....
在这套戏里..我看见了几种不同的爱情...
1)单恋的美

一个是大清朝的十三阿哥...一个是蒙古的得宠格格,敏敏....
两个性格相似的人...
向往自由自在的自由...
在旷阔的草原奔腾....
没有错..两人是很投缘...
但投缘不代表....有缘分...
不是看起来登对的爱情..就一定长久...
就像月亮追寻的不一定是星星...
可能是太阳..(可能要有看戏的才懂...)
神女有心..襄王无梦....
一句“她即便是天仙,若不对我心思,又何必多言呢?"
p.s:在此又花痴了一次...
果断...坚决..不拖泥带水...
这才是成熟男人应有的态度...
爱情不应该只是还不错....
需要对心思...合适与否...
敏敏格格天生就是在草原盛开的花朵...
堂堂大清朝...礼仪多多....习俗多多...
就算勉强在一起了..可能也是多添悲剧...
一开始..敏敏就爱上了那豪迈的十三阿哥..
一开始..敏敏就爱上了那浑厚的声音...
一开始..敏敏就决定爱上他,嫁给他..
到后来..她将所有的心意表现于一只舞...
用舞蹈,歌声,箫声...为这场单恋..画上完美的句点..
他们的感情戏不多...但却让我印象很深...
尤其是...敏敏为了十三阿哥...条最后一只舞的时候..
要放手一个人并不容易...
但敏敏格格明白了..放手了..
她只是想要十三阿哥至少永远记得..
他的生命里..曾经有一个叫敏敏的女孩...
我本来就很喜欢听中国风的歌...
所以这场跳舞的戏份..更让我深刻...

十三阿哥虽然不能给她要的答案与幸福..
但总算还了敏敏一个心愿...
为她吹箫....
箫声在敏敏的歌声里完美落幕...
这场单恋也一样完美落幕...
单恋不一定不好..
纵然它让人觉得涩涩的...
至少它让你学会长大一些...懂事一些...
也让你更快遇到对的那一个...
只因为....爱情不能只是...
"他/她还不错...而我还没找到那一个..."
爱情...需要真心对待...
再一次...
“若不对我心思...何须多言?"
2)遗憾的爱

十三阿哥&绿芜...
他本是一名王子...
多少名门千金,皇室贵胄仰慕的对象...
她...本是一名雅妓...
卖声不卖身...
地位那么悬殊的两个人..
既然就那么碰在一起了..
还成了红颜知己...
只因为他....不屈于世俗的框框里..
只因为她....那出淤泥而不染的气质...
绿芜在十三阿哥还是意气风发的时候..
选择了默默在旁守候着..
成了他空闲的时候的伴...
24小时不打烊...
但有什么烦恼也不会告诉十三阿哥..
只因为不想多添他的烦恼..
也因为身份的悬殊...
绿芜爱在心里...完全不表现出来..
她明白...他们之间存在的是一道很高很高的墙..
她不是怕自己只能沦为妾..
而是怕十三阿哥让别人闲说...
在十三阿哥被判囚禁的时候...
在其他皇子府外跪了许久..
只为了求皇上开恩..
让她可以进去服侍十三阿哥...为奴为婢都好..
如果这不是真爱的话..可能还真的做不出吧?
她是一名受到京城多少名门少爷喜欢的雅妓...
而那时的十三阿哥..
只是一为被判了10年囚禁的无能皇子..
她倒可以就找个有钱的人嫁了做少奶奶..
不必和十三阿哥到非人的地方..一起囚禁..
10年...对一个正花容月貌的女子来说..
是多么的重要...尤其是...古代的时候..
就这样..他们两人度过了很幸福的10年..
还生了一个女儿..
知道放回出来的时候.
以为一切都好了...结果..
原来绿芜是罪臣之女..
绿芜没有告诉十三阿哥..
只因不想他麻烦..
她选择了在这世界上消失..
只因为她不想十三阿哥再寻找她...
陪十三阿哥度过了十年,一句怨言也没有..
为了十三阿哥,性命也不要..一丝犹豫也没有..
这样的女子颇让敬佩的..
只能说..命运弄人...遗憾...
终究无法相守到老...


有些长了..也怕闷着了你们..
如果有兴趣..我下次再写些主角的吧..
没有兴趣..我就算了..hahah...
原谅我私心..不是写主角先..