it's been quite some times since my last post.
but i think human just lack of time and mood to blog when they started to grow up like an adult?
okay.back to chinese!
随着要毕业的节奏...
最近想了很多...
想到自己的出路...以前的朋友..
会发现..
自己会想念很多朋友...老朋友..
可是总是会那么一点懒惰联络...
有几次好不容易拿起电话..
哒哒哒几个字就这么发送过去...
但..心情总是很失落..
发现那个世界..原来自己已经再也参不进去了..
不同的环境,遇见了不同的人，塑造了不同于以往的个性...
大家都变了...只有自己..还站在原地吧?
这其实让我苦恼了一阵子...
总想着...过一段时间就会好一些了吧?
没有错...心情是好一些了..
可是...人也变得沉静了...
不再在群组里叽叽喳喳个不停..
而是看了..就沉默了..不回应了...
或许她们也习惯了吧...
不喜欢把自己不开心的心情坦露..
所以FB上总是post上自己开心的时刻..
其实说穿了...
有时候，真的不开心的时候..
我好像也不知道该找谁聊...
可能是自己不愿意把脆弱的一脸展现出来..
也有可能是因为...不想在不开心的情绪上..
加上一层失落吧..
朋友总说‘hey, i will always be there if you need someone to talk'..
可是当你这真的找他们的时候...
其实他们也真的只能听...
因为他们已经不了解你的生活圈子了..
太久没联络了...陌生了...
说新朋友吧...新朋友...却不是那么了解你..
所以..你也变得开不了口...
慢慢的...好像就喜欢上一个人静静的感觉..
不是不想朋友...只是...懒惰了...累了...失望够了...
但偶尔看见一些老朋友找自己...
感觉还不错...
就像..前几个星期...
一个朋友通知喜讯...
那感觉是不错的..
代表..她还记得你...
好像还蛮伤感的吼?
明明就是圣诞节~

sentimental

yup yup yup...
it's been a superrrrrrr long time i did not update my blog..
tough year, yea?
i'm not totally back to blog..
as i just feeling a bit sentimental tonight...
without a reason...
it's just that.....
many old things suddenly came into my mind...
some...memorable things?
thinking back and looking back make me realized how childish i was...
well..i think that's part of life..
i won't regret for that...
but a bit...ermm....
kind of...miss that?
honestly...now already is the end of my 2nd year...
but..to be honest...
i'm not 100% sure the path that i'm going to choose for my future..
i like this course..just not that passionate like my friends?
maybe....
well..apart from my study..
i guess...a very very very very well-known concern of everyone to me...
is that...
yup..my relationship!!!!
hahaha...this would be the NUMBER 1 question that all my friends & relatives would ask...
but........actually this is not something that i can control..
so..i shall just wait and see...
this is not a very 'in-hurry- thing too, right?
suddenly don't know what to write...
yupppp..shall end like this!
nightyyyyy..

Yo!

hey guys!
i know i know...
it's been a superrrr long time no update my blog..
T_T..
i finally can understand why people always stop writing their blog after they entered university..
coz it's super busy life there..
and usually typing=assignment time.. :D
okay...so..what i'm going to talk about...
i'm currently holidays...
but going to end soon though..
oh ya..my year 1 officially ended!
YEAHHH~
but the tougher one coming soon,right?
aiks...anyway..
in fact i'm hoping the time can goes more slower...
as slow as it can...
coz i seriously don't know what i'm going to do after my degree graduation..
maybe an honour?perhaps...
this holidays actually quite boring...
i spend it with my dramasssssss...
and gathering with some old friends..
like..limited one..
coz i'm seriously lazy to go out..
*forgive me~
ermmm...i did went to sungkai with my friend..
hehehehe...bcoz she's too stress..
erm...quite a relax place there...
but not suitable for long stay...
and...suitable for whole big group go though~


what else to say?
ermmmm..that day my friend asked me about how about me and the two guys..
i would say...quite clear now！
but i kinda miss those days i could chat everything with one of the guy...
it's so difficult to find someone so compatible with you..
but..i would say..fate...
perhaps..it's a better decision that we just cut off our friendship like that before it's too late... :D
currently like not really have interest in relationship..
perhaps i found someone that i know i can't be with..
perhaps i found no one to be with...
perhaps..perhaps..perhaps..
well...i feel relax and good now also...
nothing wrong to be single,right?
and after all those complicated thing in my current friends circle..
i feel like...
maybe single also is a good thing??
as in..u'll get lesser trouble thing...
lesser sadness...lesser angry...lesser changes in emotion..
but of coz..it also will have lesser sweetness..
lesser happiness...lesser...ermmm?accompanies?
anyway...fate come when it have to,right?
i think that's all for now...
let's post a selfie to show how good am i!

短篇

好久没有打字啦...
ermmm...正确来说..
是打我部落格的字... XD
最近都在考试期间...
但其实一直都在慌神..
并没有真的很乖的坐在了桌子前面读书..
人常说...等长大了....
小时候的童话梦就会醒了..
或许吧..
对于我现在这种应该非常向往恋爱的年龄..
我竟然..
并没有像其他人一样期待着...
甚至我开始有那么一些不相信爱情..
可能是环境影响吧..
从我懂事以来..我看我的父母吵架..
还多过看见爱情的美好...
p.s :奉劝各位想当父母的人..一定要谨记..不要在小朋友面前吵架...
我见过双方不理不睬..
我听过双方就在房里面大声吵架的情况..
我总是装作一副无所谓的样子..
只是因为我不想...理...
真的不想...
其实从我第一次看见他们吵架的时候..
我就时常在想...
"我的父母会离婚吗?”
因为那种吵架的氛围实在是恐怖到我实在没有办法想象..该如何和好..
随着年龄越大..
父母更像回到了童年一样..
开始像小朋友一样的冷战...
除了父母是一个很大的因素之外...
还有我姐姐...
其实如果认真来说..
现在似乎只有我哥哥没有带给我所谓的"爱情阴影"吧...
我姐姐..
曾经在我中学的时候..大概中二的时候..
满脸泪痕的站在我面前..
问我.."心痛可以有多痛?“
直到我今年..我甚至还可以看到我姐姐在我面前因为爱情而哭..
这就是...爱情...的美好吗?
我另外一个姐姐..
我见证过她为上一段爱情的憔悴..
我也听过她和现在的男朋友在我隔壁的房间..
大吵一顿...
甚至冲门而出的情景...
这就是...我对他们的爱情印象..
我不是没有看见过爱情的美好..
朋友们因为爱情变漂亮了...
网络上所流传的一些令人感动的影片..
但说真的..
那些真美好的片段..
我一会儿就忘记了..
反而是那些所谓的"美好"却一直在我的脑袋里历历在目..
或许我自己在等吧..
等一个可以让我相信爱情的人?事?物?
或许吧..
也或许..没有或许..

长大

随着时间慢慢地长大..
很多你该知道的..你不应该的事情..
都会慢慢被你一一晓得...
以前小时候总是觉得我的大家庭很快乐..很和谐..
大了才知道原来那是一个多么大的误会..
兄弟姐妹之间为了钱财而吵架..
有些还甚至变得不再往来..
虽然我对有些亲戚没什么好感..
*因为小时候总被他们取消..
但我还是不希望到不再往来的地步..
其实长大还有一件很残忍的事情..
就是你会开始意识到..
父母也老了..
身体不再健康了...
嗯...最近还蛮常体会到这个的..
我开始觉得庆幸...
当初自己选择不去外国留学..
不管我当初是为了什么不到外国留学...
可能我还有那么一丝相信...
外国月亮没有比较圆吧..
不然..现在这笔费用该对我的家庭有多大的影响?
但我又后悔...
后悔当初没有坚持要去本地大学...
不然现在的教育费用又替家里省了多少?
又或者坚持收下ptptn的offer...
不过算了啦..我只能说..
得用功读书了...
其实放眼看去...自古子承父业..
但现在来说..这是个传统..但不是个一定..
变相的..
现在的农业，渔业&菜业...
都变得老化了..
只因年轻人不再愿意接手..
但其实让自己想想？
我又愿意吗?
我愿意放弃自己读大学的机会..
去帮忙吗?
还真的是个很难选择的事..
只能说..人越是长大..越多的责任得承担..

make feel like wanna bloggggg

wake up in the early morning...
went to school for my summer unit course..
now...i'm staying in the biggggg classroom alone..
HEHE..i'm enjoy for that recently..
went through nicholas' s blog..
and it make me feel like wanna start post something on my "long-time-no-update-blogsites-"..
so...what to say?
ermmm..i'm going to present a presentation about "sustainability" later..
and..today is my last day for school!
then i could have my fully one month empty break..
which supposedly be 3 months..
hahaha..it's okay..
vf my 2 months part time study.
i managed to get rid of one elective unit..
not bad,huh?
ermm...yea..about my face...
it's finally in recovering process..
HOW HAPPY! :)
but going to back to hometown soon..
then there will b a lot of ques like..
"why ur face like that?"
"aiyah...ur face very teruk leh..“
well...i hope i can prepare my mentally well to overcome this..
p.s: i'm used to be the "shoot-target" in my hometown since small..
ques like..
"why u still drinking milk with milk bottle?"
"why u so fat one?"
"how u eat until so big size?"
yea...sometimes i think back...
i'm definitely STRONG enough..hahaha..
although i remembered there is one time..
i hide inside my room and cried..
my sis used to be pretty and slim..
and the other way in me..
well..i will think that's.....unique!
i'm born to be unique..hahahaha...
hope my face getting more and MORE better before 31/1..
talking about my school life!
ermm..i'm getting more and more used to it..
i guess..
but for my summer unit..
i...usually came school around 7 something...
went back like 3 something..
depend on my classes schedule..
it's good!at least i can go back home at 3 something..
it's definitely different case with sem 1..
which i came school at 7 something..
and went back at 7 something too..
hahaha..12 hours spent in school!
not that i love school that much..
oo..not to forgot..
show some pic of my recent life,right?
ermmm..wait..
let me check them out!

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so..this is the pic of my group members in MORAL STUDIES..we're taking pic happily after we done our task!
dun ask me is it gt any of them i liked..they all are 3rd year seniors which i'm not able to approach..hahaha




so..this is the pic that i curi-curi took at the back of my parents while they're looking at the backview of my new house!



so..this is me!!!try to take some silly pic recently..mayb this is a sign that i'm approaching the level of become crazy?! T_T



so...this is my friends that i knew in my uni..that can count close to me..but not THAT close..u noe~i need take a very long time to consider as close..



so..this is the pic of us! sibling time~we always try to take pic without my 2nd sis..hahahaha...

新的一年

新年快乐!
昨晚来不及回顾我的2013年..
现在赶快来补发!!!
2013年.....
我似乎经历了好多事情...
嗯...首先...
我终于告别了穿校服的校园生活..
我现在已经是一位可以穿着短裙...不绑头发去学校的大学生...
这算是...踏上人生的另一个阶段吧?
其实现在在大学跟不同的人多了..
我都有一些忘了华语...
很多词语已经不懂怎么用了..哈哈...
去年..我从一字头正式踏入2字头..
这代表....我该长大了?
可是随着所谓的长大...
我的青春痘也开始.....长大了..
它们好像搞错时间酱..
我之前form 1-5都没有酱严重..
现在却一次过出完了...
虽然说不是那种特严重的..
可是有些已经消下去了的痘痘..
还有些痘印在那里...
我不是那种特别在意脸的人..
可是最近我妈妈总是说我的脸每天每天都在变严重..
p.s:我并不觉得啦..
每天每天都在说...
其实indirectly...弄到我真的很不想见人...
现在只要别人说话看着我的脸..
我就会很想...很想把脸遮住...
我也不想出门..因为我总觉得别人总在看我的脸..
其实我真的很压力...
妈妈最近还讲要带我去看医生...
aiks~
嗯..2013年...
我第一次当上了老师...
我永远都不会忘记那些小朋友纯真的模样...
也很谢谢他们给我带来的笑容...
嗯..2013年..
我拿到了我的STPM成绩..
竟然出乎意料的...好..
这让我也很谢谢我自己..
为了自己的那份努力...
2013年..
和很多朋友都分开了..
当然的..也认识了很多新朋友...
旧朋友对我固然重要..
我也很庆幸有一些朋友到现在依然还很常联络...
当然..也有一部分是已经没有办法回到从前一样的...
我很祝福他们...
但请原谅我..没有办法假装我们还是和以前一样...
新朋友也一样对我重要..
可是人啊..毕竟还是需要时间去了解的...
现在为止..我并没有办法很了解我的新朋友们...
总而言之...
在过去的一年里..
谢谢所有的朋友的包容...
新的一年里..
继续加油!!!